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The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love, by Dedeker Winston
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Review
“‘Smart’ is definitely the right word for this thoughtful, well-researched, and practical guide to the female side of polyamory.” —Janet W. Hardy, coauthor, The Ethical Slut"More than just a 'glimpse into a world outside the status quo,' Dedeker Wilson’s new book The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory guides readers on a sassy romp through introducing and defining polyamory, to finding out what others have said about it, and ending up outside the classroom, the closet, and the norm. Witty and substantial at the same time, this is the perfect book for anyone seeking an informative and entertaining 'alternative education on love.'" —Elisabeth Sheff, author of The Polyamorists Next Door, Stories from the Polycule, and When Someone you Love is Polyamorous"Behind the modern polyamory movement is a deeper concept: relationship choice. Dedeker Winston explains, with wit and insight, how you can shed society's off-the-shelf, one-size-fits-all relationship model and successfully design your own. You and your partner, or partners, can build your intimate lives together in new ways that work best for all of you— ethically, honestly, and with mutual care and understanding. . . ."Women are leading this movement, and Winston is one of the smartest. As she tells from experience, it won't be easy. Designer relationships require extraordinary communication, self-insight, and good hearts all around. And a fearless embrace of agency and autonomy, in both yourself and others. The poly community's collective wisdom—hard-earned through sometimes bitter experience -- will be a huge aid in avoiding known pitfalls and not re-inventing wheels. Whether you end up choosing 'conscious monogamy' or one of the many types of ethical nonmonogamy, this book will point you right." —Alan MacRobert, Polyamory in the News “Written with women in mind, Winston’s book is a colorfully written manual for anyone who’s curious about what polyamory does and doesn’t mean, or who’s realizing that traditional relationships may not be for them." —Inverse“‘Smart’ is definitely the right word for this thoughtful, well-researched, and practical guide to the female side of polyamory.” —Janet W. Hardy, coauthor, The Ethical Slut"More than just a 'glimpse into a world outside the status quo,' Dedeker Wilson’s new book The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory guides readers on a sassy romp through introducing and defining polyamory, to finding out what others have said about it, and ending up outside the classroom, the closet, and the norm. Witty and substantial at the same time, this is the perfect book for anyone seeking an informative and entertaining 'alternative education on love.'" —Elisabeth Sheff, author of The Polyamorists Next Door, Stories from the Polycule, and When Someone you Love is Polyamorous"Behind the modern polyamory movement is a deeper concept: relationship choice. Dedeker Winston explains, with wit and insight, how you can shed society's off-the-shelf, one-size-fits-all relationship model and successfully design your own. You and your partner, or partners, can build your intimate lives together in new ways that work best for all of you— ethically, honestly, and with mutual care and understanding. . . ."Women are leading this movement, and Winston is one of the smartest. As she tells from experience, it won't be easy. Designer relationships require extraordinary communication, self-insight, and good hearts all around. And a fearless embrace of agency and autonomy, in both yourself and others. The poly community's collective wisdom—hard-earned through sometimes bitter experience -- will be a huge aid in avoiding known pitfalls and not re-inventing wheels. Whether you end up choosing 'conscious monogamy' or one of the many types of ethical nonmonogamy, this book will point you right." —Alan MacRobert, Polyamory in the News “Written with women in mind, Winston’s book is a colorfully written manual for anyone who’s curious about what polyamory does and doesn’t mean, or who’s realizing that traditional relationships may not be for them." —Inverse
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About the Author
Dedeker Winston was raised to be a wholesome, born-again Christian conservative but later opted to be a sex-positive polyamory activist, relationship coach, reality-TV celebrity, and nude model. She currently provides one-on-one coaching services for people transitioning into non-monogamy. When she isn't coaching, writing, or spending time with her multiple partners, she enjoys backpacking around the globe, playing video games, and obsessively applying lip balm. She is from Chico, California.Â
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Product details
Paperback: 280 pages
Publisher: Skyhorse (February 7, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1510712089
ISBN-13: 978-1510712089
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.9 out of 5 stars
35 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#48,294 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
"A Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory" is the perfect book for anyone considering a foray into the world of non-monogamy, or indeed, anyone interested in the topic of non-traditional relationship dynamics. It's a quick read, super easy to digest, and the exercises at the back of each chapter encourage self analysis and active understanding of the core concepts of the book. I'm male identified, and I never once felt like the book was talking around me, or that I should be reading a different text. This book holds a spot on the shelf right up next to "More Than Two" and other Poly "bibles" as a must read text for anyone looking to understand more about non-monogamy, regardless of gender expression.
Having read every popular guide to polyamory, I really appreciated Dedeker's personal touches and focus on the ways that polyamory relates to feminism and gender stereotypes. While the book focuses on the female experience, I think it's equally useful for any men who date women (exclusively or not) who want to gain insight into the female experience without all the stereotypical "women and men are soooo different!" garbage. Dedeker understands that our being socialized so differently does create a different experience for men and women, but that ultimately, our desires for fulfilling personal and sexual relationships unites us.
The best book on open relationships/polyamory I have read yet (and I've read a lot of them). Interesting, informative, and thought-provoking. I especially liked that it isn't super focused on pre-existing couples opening up a relationship.
A book for anyone (regardless of gender) interested in, curious about or currently in polyamorous relationships, In the book, Dedeker talks about the origins of relationship "types", and helps shed some of the myths around ethical non-monogomy. While sharing her own story and relationship struggles, she walks you through common situations and gives specific advice on how you can handle them.Personally, I believe that this book is more about ethical relationships with yourself and other(s) than it is about polyamory specifically. I love the questions, sidebars and exercises she poses within the chapters - questions for self-reflection and examining your relationships. After reading the book, and spending even a moment of time thinking about some of the questions posed, you'll be a better person to yourself and others. What more could you ask for?The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love
I'm so glad that Dedeker Winston wrote this book! There is not a lot out there for folks who don't fit the traditional relationship mold. This book is a great addition! Researched incredibly well and filled with superb advice. I'd say it a great book for everyone to read - regardless of gender, or relationship status. Even monogamous folks will get a lot out of reading this. Winston has answered the call for more poly/non-monogamous material and she has done it well!
An amazing, fun, lighthearted and wistful guide for not only young women, but all individuals interested in ethical nonmonogomy/polyamory/nontraditional relationships. Dedeker is a young, energetic, extremely articulate relationship coach, podcast host, blogger and author who conducted a ton of research, much of while traveling abroad, to put together this book and it's an excellent, contemporary find. Highly recommended to both polyamorous and monogamous folk.
Few "guide" books on any subject have spoken to me, much less on something as intimate as my chosen love style. Only this didn't read like an instruction manual. This book reads like it is written and drawn from a place of great experience and poured out directly from Dedeker's heart. I've gone through and referenced different chapters where I've found nuggets for myself or my partners. This has been an invaluable resource and the exercises found within help to build intimacy and find new places to explore within your relationships. I really can't be happier with this purchase and I'll be referring people to these pages for some time to come!
WOW, what a grasp on reality in a positive and helpful way. Dedeker really shows her knowledge and understanding of the material and her experience in speaking to a wide variety of people on the topic in this book. So many angles and helpful take-alongs. I really appreciate the end of each chapter having a review homework kind of exercise.
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